Abroad Experience

More often than not, the experience you have when you move to a foreign country does not meet your expectation. If you move to a foreign country which has a different language and culture, it’s even more alien and unsatisfactory. So you wallow in self-pity for a bit, before you stretch, tie.. ugh no, zip up your boots (it’s really cold, invest in a good pair) and go out and start making friends and then spend your time there loving it as well as complaining about it to anybody who will listen.

Then after a year, you settle down and question your identity. “I do not remember being this stereotypically Indian! Yes pani-puri (fine gol-guppa, oh okay its puchka, whatever!) is my life but I didn’t not know I could dance like that to sajna ji vaari vaari on New Year’s (no, I was not drunk). Am I that Indian now or am I just homesick! Also what parts of my personality am I toning down to fit in here.” I did not know my face was this expressive until I came to Milan and had to enact what I was saying to not be misunderstood by people. I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but I did not have many fluent speakers in my vicinity. I also toned down my level of English so that I would be able to communicate comfortably at a level everyone understood (mistake, I paid 10k for IELTS, I better use it). Also the fact that I was so comfortable in English, led a lot of people to ask, “Hey, how are you so good at English?”, I wanted to say the British Empire but I said “My mom is an English teacher!” Both are valid and true statements.

There are unquestionable benefits to being here, but the things that don’t work are also in plenty and my experience is not unique. Everyone goes through this and takes it with different levels of resignation. I do look at the positives. I’m sure I’ve made at least three lifelong friends who are from different places around the globe, but maybe it’s my personality, I always come back to this state of slight anger and sarcasm. It’s actually worse than I anticipated. It does keep me grounded though and humour saves me from more than one bad situation. I always think when things are tense or when I am sad, “This is going to make a really fun story some day!” As most of my humor is self-deprecating, it does actually ring true. When you can make fun of these situations, is when you have come full circle, from reading a blog post, to writing one!

The fact remains though, I do not want to leave Milan with a feeling of being miserable. I came here to have an enriching new experience. Yes, a lot of things did not meet my expectations, but I found plenty of things that went beyond them. People are generally nice everywhere you go. Dialogue and communication are your most important assets. There was this one time an old lady paid me a compliment on my Indian skirt I was wearing for Diwali and it made my whole day, even if we both communicated majorly through gestures. Also the time where I felt completely at home when an ”aunty” at the bus stop opened conversation with me by asking “How much rent do you pay per month?” My friends, classmates and housemates all tried very hard to make me comfortable in my surroundings from day one and Milan itself is a gorgeous city with a lot to discover!

So I hope, that whenever I do go back or leave here, I remember the nicer things, I think I will! Because I have had experiences here I would not have had if not for the courage I had to come here to begin with. So it’s okay, your expectation will not be met, but I would still recommend going out because the unexpected is worth it!

Unless you are on student loan, that’s a different story!

Just kidding!

Or am I?

byee